More Hits : Less Shit

Posted in Uncategorized by expatatlarge on March 6, 2009

Slowly catching up the to the Stats on the old blog. I was running at about 100-120 per day there. Now I have scratched my way back to about 70.

Maybe more pictures of Dimples of Venus, or Deltas or Venus, would help. Maybe if I ran this more as a diary, got people actually concerned about the quotidian blah-blah of my life? Maybe I set up another diet blog, at least I’d get the fatties reading and cheering for me to fail? Maybe if I blogged about how much I love Ayn Rand and her wonderful philosophy? Maybe if I wasn’t so sarcastic?

Maybe if I realized blogging is so passe that I’m never going to get a significant number of new readers and that I’ve reached my Dunbar’s number of dupes? Remember that quote on my old blog: “On the internet, everyone will be famous for 15 people.”

Maybe if I dug up more of the good old stuff every so often?

Maybe if I dumped the blog and got onto my novel…


Seriously, the story is coming together in my head; I “think” a really interesting novel… Whenever I start to write anything down, fuck, it goes all haywire. And crap. My god, the crap.

I really don’t want to write another, “my god, how depraved are the expats in foreign climes” sort of story, but that what comes out. Not even that. What comes out is PRETENTIOUS clap-trap about how depraved the expats in foreign climes are… even as I tell myself to start with another premise, a good central plot or two, and run the depravity in as window-dressing. It’s nauseating and dull, schoolboy stuff. It makes me want to give up, throw up, makes me want to toss the computer out the window (LOTS of things give me this urge – like the fact none of my work email seems to leave the SingTel web-mail program when I am at “working from home”.)

Ah OK, maybe if I didn’t spend so much time searching for stupid porn I’d actually get out of this bedroom…


Maybe if I stopped starting each paragraph with “maybe.”



13 Responses

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  1. The Peranakan Dude said, on March 6, 2009 at 5:46 am

    Maybe if you started writing raunchy tales of your raunchy encounters? Sex blogs get a lot of hits you know. 😛

  2. Indiana said, on March 6, 2009 at 6:46 am


  3. expat@large said, on March 6, 2009 at 8:19 am

    Dude: problem is I don’t actually ENJOY the type of sexual encounters I have been having in Asia these last few years. I TOLERATE these gorgeous bodies only because I have to… Seriously, it’s hard to generate enough enthusiasm as my age advances for merely sex-by-numbers with some slave-trade, ejaculation industry victim from the OT or Dempsey Rd or which my taxi driver recommends and pimps for me. After a few years of the anonymous stuff, you want someone who actually knows you. And after all, it’s only an orgasm.Indiana: Or maybe not.

  4. savannah said, on March 6, 2009 at 11:51 am

    then again…

  5. The Peranakan Dude said, on March 6, 2009 at 4:02 pm

    Now now, you’re still a young man at heart. 😀But honestly, I enjoy reading the little snippets of your experiences in places you’ve been etc. Ever thought of writing a travelogue? Cliche, but still works, I think.…and yes, throw in photos of the occasional faceless fling in those posts too. *evil grin*

  6. Momentary Madness said, on March 6, 2009 at 6:00 pm

    “Love is all there is.”

  7. Hunter-Gatherer said, on March 7, 2009 at 11:41 am

    write the novel – combine all the elements of the blog into a murder mystery. A celebrity restauranteur is offed at the opening of his new Singaporean gastropub. The suspects can be his sacked PR guy; rival celebs; ex-wife; marketing exec he trashed at a pitch meeting; mistress…. the list is endless. You work in a few rants about the economy going down the toilet and the senselessness of exporting pub grub to exotic locations.Cmon’ I’ve almost finished it for you. Just fill in the blanks.As to who did it – Hmmm my bet is the young Singaporean hottie that he had shacked up with but he had neglected due to work business pressures.

  8. expat@large said, on March 7, 2009 at 1:21 pm

    btw it WILL be a murder mystery!

  9. expat@large said, on March 7, 2009 at 1:21 pm

    H-G: I want to keep reading YOUR novel!

  10. dh said, on March 7, 2009 at 2:59 pm

    Funny you should mention novels….Woww has one ready for syndication.

  11. dibabear said, on March 7, 2009 at 11:55 pm

    Whatever your novel is, exclude the Thai royal family. We so don’t need to start a “Free E@L” campaign.Of all the novels Mario Puzo wrote, the one he actually didn’t like was “The Godfather” for a lot of the reasons you state. What seems nauseatingly dull to your wizened ex-pat mind will seem like a whirlwind adventure to 98% of the world. A friend once told me, when I was whining to her about how boring my life is, “it’s all about perspective. To you it seems boring, and yet you’ve been to 30 countries, go to exotic places on short notice…” etc. and so on. Her point was most “regular” folks can’t relate to it. And that’s your audience.Five cents, please!

  12. expat@large said, on March 8, 2009 at 3:01 am

    Yes that’s true. We oh so quickly become acclimatized, blase to the weirdest things. I might interpret that as being jaded or cynical for a laugh, but really I do notice how my family and friends in Oz just look on in awe. What makes it easy to become so blase, is that no matter where you go, people are essentially the same – the same core negotiating skills are required, the conversations are about the same topics… but of course the nuances of cultural attitudes just so slightly throw everything expected out of whack.

  13. expat@large said, on March 8, 2009 at 3:02 am

    DH: how long will you keep us in suspenders?

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