Expat@Large

Kopi Luwak

Posted in Uncategorized by expatatlarge on August 14, 2009

MMmmm… mm? Uuuuckkk-uck-splutter!

OMG, this coffee tastes like some cat shat it out on the jungle floor of Sumatra!

Oh, really? Sorry everyone, it’s meant to taste that way; it should do, because that’s exactly what has happened.

One of the guys in the office managed to pick up an elaborately packaged box of (Certificate of Authenticity included) 100% kopi luwak on his last trip to Indonesia. My spluttering opening was in reality a rhetorical device because we haven’t yet cracked the seal on it, but I expect we will all be incredibly disappointed, like seeing Bryan Ferry or Van Morrison live in concert.

This, the MOST EXPENSIVE COFFEE IN THE WORLD [Note: not the BEST, merely the most expensive], is made from ripe coffee beans that have been eaten right from the tree and then eventually defecated out by the Asian Palm Civet (Paradoxurus hermaphroditus) which, paradoxical rumour had it, is an hermaphrodite – but no, it’s just prominent scent glands. This paradoxially un-cat-like creature eats whatever variety of coffee bean it finds, which is Arabica in this particular brands’ plantation. That means much kopi luwak on sale may vary in its flavour because it may not be any specific variety of bean, just those beans which have had that special enzymatic processing they can only experience in the stomach and duodenum of the mammal that probably started the SARS epidemic (or not).

This is from the brochure:

The resulting coffee is said to be like no other. It has a rich, heavy flavour with hints of caramel or chocolate. Other terms used to describe are earthy, musty and exotic. The body is almost syrupy and it’s very smooth.

The same it may be said, E@L points out, of runny shit.

BTW, the stuffs that sell in exclusive shops for about $50 might only be 2% kopi luwak, mixed with whatever caffeine-rich bean is going cheap.

That’s the rumah!

Cheers!

E@L

Advertisements

10 Responses

Subscribe to comments with RSS.

  1. dh said, on August 14, 2009 at 3:14 pm

    “Pynchon's most accessible novel in years…” Can't remember where I read that but great news for readers with Alzheimers.

    Good luck with the coffee.

  2. expat@large said, on August 14, 2009 at 3:59 pm

    DH: Pynchon wrote an accessible novel about hermaphroditic cats? WTF are you talking about Dick? Get a grip man! That was, like, two posts ago!

    I mean, you fucken old people, shit… get in touch! Is not the sixites no more! Yeah right, is eighties orredy! Yeah! Shave my head in support of gay cause, “Cars… bop.. bop. de-bop, cars…” wot fucken brilliant song eh???

  3. expat@large said, on August 14, 2009 at 3:59 pm

    DH: sorry, it sounded funny at the time. I've had a bath since.

  4. Momentary Madness said, on August 14, 2009 at 5:46 pm

    I'll have tea, thanks”
    😉

  5. savannah said, on August 14, 2009 at 6:47 pm

    just goes to should you, some people really do have more money than sense! xoxo

  6. savannah said, on August 15, 2009 at 6:35 pm

    *ack* show you not should you…note to self: stop commenting when medicated *sigh*

    by the by, re automatic updates – check the preferences file and set updates to manual, not automatic. :~D
    (oh no, i just did a dh and posted that last comment in the wrong place!*sigh again*)

  7. Momentary Madness said, on August 16, 2009 at 4:37 pm

    Savannah, I wonder hat Freud would say about that: E@L “should have more sense,” and he knows he should;-) 😉 😉

  8. expat@large said, on August 16, 2009 at 5:03 pm

    Sav: updates – I have, I do.

    MomMad: I've sense enough not to stick my sensitive nose into that coffee tin!

  9. ruesedaine said, on August 16, 2009 at 5:33 pm

    The equivalent of Kopi Luwak is Jacu Bird coffee from Brazil.

  10. The Bludger said, on August 17, 2009 at 12:36 pm

    Robin: Holy Bat Shit Batman.
    Batman: I think you mean Holy Cat Shit Robin.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: