The Numbers Game

Posted in blog stats, bored as fuck by expatatlarge on December 7, 2011

Wow! How bored (i.e. looking for way to avoid doing what he should be doing) is E@L! While cutting and pasting the pictures for the antecedent blog post, E@L noticed that with the new format of the behind-the-scenes pages of Blogger, you can list all your posts and it gives a view count for each of them! Kewl… E@L looks and … Sad…

Aiyah, so few. Some posts have, like, 0 hits. Not even E@L read those ones.

Fuck, E@L hopes the three people reading his blog are getting royally entertained, because no-one else could be fucked with this circus… All his efforts are for you. #bows#

708 posts. 709 now. Since Oct 2008, that’s about 19 posts a month. Average number of words… No lets not get into that futile and depressing stat. According to Sitemeter, about 40 hits per day over the last year. That’s about what Izzy used to get per minute. Well, I guess I haven’t been blogging about my sex life recently. In fact, not about anything at all… Not sure why not. Just can’t muster up energy, free time, wakefulness, sobriety…

But hey, mr brightside! – 30 of those 709 posts have had 100 or more views, woo-hoo! (Over three years, remember.)

Here are the numbers. You can chase these links to see what people other than yourselves have been wrongly directed to by Google and Yahoo. You can get the gist of what visitors are reading, skimming, hunting for pictures in, getting shocked and scared when they realize that this wasn’t what they wanted to find at all, no, not at all…




Note the completely statistically irrelevant clustering effect at 308, 307 & 305 and then again 179, 177, 176, 174 & 173. The universe is random and randomness creates clusters. If the universe were regular, it wouldn’t be random, would it? As James Stephens said in The Crock Of Gold, “It has lumps in it.”

One can only assume that the surprise number one hit (“Water Sign”) is due to a bunch of lunatic New-Agers looking to match an Aries with a Capricorn or something… As expected Bruce figures highly at number two, while Andrew McGregor Marshall’s story of his Reuters fiasco is number three, perhaps because it is linked-to on a Wikipedia page. I like that number four is “Shrine”, in which I tried to follow as meticulously as I could a woman placing your typical Buddhist offerings on a weathered, lichen-covered stone shrine next to where I was lounging by the pool in Ubud, Bali. A better writer would have taken either 15 pages to do this, or 15 words.



7 Responses

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  1. savannah said, on December 8, 2011 at 3:51 am

    too many words, sugar! *snickering* xoxoxoxox

  2. dh said, on December 8, 2011 at 8:54 am

    I thought Bruce would be popular. Or maybe they were looking for bruise?

  3. expat@large said, on December 8, 2011 at 11:04 am

    Sav: that I've typed over the years, or in that Shrine post?

    Dick: “Club Romeo” is the most common search that garners Bruce's small stories.

    Remember to go in to a brothel is not degenerate. To never come out *is* degenerate. Fuck, where did see that quote, I need it for “that which shall not be named”.

  4. DanPloy said, on December 8, 2011 at 11:42 am

    Why not follow Cultural Snow's lead and plop in a few dodgy photos of Charlotte Rampling from time to time.

  5. dh said, on December 8, 2011 at 10:32 pm

    Interesting. My most popular posts are teenage bukkake and Lily Allen's tits. Can't figure out why.

  6. The Bludger said, on December 10, 2011 at 7:20 am

    Thanks to your linking to my blog and Dan&Ploy subsequently posting a link in another forum, one of my posts got 129 page views.
    I feel that I can aspire to the lofty heights of the Expat@Large.
    As long as I keep tipping money into Vietnamese houses.

  7. expat@large said, on December 10, 2011 at 9:36 am

    Bludge: it wouldn't be me. I only get 30 hits a day and most of those are robots trying to break the security settings in order to spam.

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